How to break up with someone?

A breakup despite love is tough, but sometimes the right way. We'll tell you in which cases it makes sense and how you can best proceed.

Ending a relationship despite love: does it make sense?


Separation despite love? That sounds like a bad joke at first, and not right at all. However, anyone who has ever experienced minor or major difficulties in a partnership knows that love alone is not enough to keep two people together . Sometimes there are differences that simply cannot be resolved, no matter how much you want them and how hard you work on them. And unfortunately these stand in the way of your happiness in the long term. In which cases it is better to end your relationship despite love, and what to consider when breaking up, we will tell you here.

5 reasons to break up despite love

1:  One of you loves more than the other

A relationship in which love is out of balance can be quite unhealthy in the long run. While one of you suffers from not getting enough affection , the other feels constantly pressured to invest more in the partnership . In the end, the sad fact is that love cannot be forced and the only solution is acceptance. In order to avoid that your own needs are neglected and you keep hurting each other, a separation despite love is advisable in this.


Also read this article how to sharpen scissors

 2. You don't have the same future plans


Two people who have a stable partnership should ideally look to the future together. If one of you really wants to get married and start a family , but the other one does not want to become a mother or father under any circumstances, a separation is often the only way - even if you love each other . Because wanting children is something in which there are no compromises: Either you want to have some or you don't want to. Nobody should ignore this need - or even non-need - for his: n partner: in just to make him / her happy.

3. You have lost trust

Your: e partner: has betrayed you or the other way around? Once trust has been broken between two people , it is often impossible to restore the base. Even if the mistake has been forgiven and you decide to continue your partnership, it is a real challenge to forget about it as well. In most cases, this leads to jealousy and insecurity. If the situation does not improve even after several weeks, separation is the right decision. Without trust, love just doesn't work.


4. One of you does not want to live monogamous


The concept of monogamy can also be responsible for a separation despite love. If you or your partner realizes that loyalty doesn't make you happy and one of you feels the need to sleep with other people, that's a hard blow to a relationship. If both people have the same wishes and ideas, an open relationship can be the solution. If this is not the case, however, in the long term you will only have to go separate ways.


5. Your relationship exhibits toxic behaviors

Your: e partner: behaves selfishly towards you, insults you and in the end turns everything around so that you feel guilty? These are typical signs of a toxic relationship , in which a person is acting completely inappropriately without even realizing it. Since this type of relationship often has a psychological background and in the long run can not only make you unhappy but also sick, a breakup despite love is in most cases the only way to escape the toxic behavioral patterns.


Separation despite love: how can I separate?

Do you have the feeling that your: e partner: will never make you 100 percent happy, even though you love him / her more than anything?  Then a breakup despite love could actually be the right decision. No question about it: breaking up with someone you love is not easy. To make it easier for you to sort your thoughts and bring order into your emotional chaos, these three steps can help:


1. Ask yourself how sure you are that you want to break up

On a scale from 1 to 10, how sure are you that you want to take the step of breaking up? Determination is essential if you are to initiate this life changing process. Without a firm resolve, you will not be able to cope with all of the challenges that come with a breakup.

Is there a part of you that holds on to the possibility that everything might turn out fine after all?  Are you not ready to end the relationship yet ? If the answers are "yes," you'd better wait. If you want to leave someone you love, you should be sure that there is no alternative.


2. Dissolve your thoughts about your relationship

This step is crucial when it comes to a breakup despite love. Make a note of all the thoughts, dreams and ideas that you have or have associated with your relationship:  Go on a road trip through Europe together, open a café in Bali, start a family and move to the country - it can be anything. Now ask yourself two things:


1. How realistic are these wishes? ( For example, would he / she really go to the other end of the world with you?)


2.     Do you love the idea of ​​your relationship or do you really love the person behind it?


The answers will help you decide whether to break up or take a step back and hold on to the person you love.

3. Ask yourself what you really want in a partnership

You should not only ask yourself this question if you are about to break up, but basically: What do you expect from a relationship ? What do you want from your partner: in?


Breaking up in spite of love: you should pay attention to that

The biggest challenge in a love breakup is not just making the decision, but more importantly, putting it into action. Breaking up is never easy - even if you  no  longer have feelings for your partner. If the feelings are still there, it makes it all the more difficult. Therefore, it is perfectly okay if your breakup is a lengthy process and is not decided overnight. Take enough time to think about it, but at the same time try to be realistic and pay attention to your own well-being.

Once you've made the decision to end your relationship , you should stand by your decision 100 percent and stand firm. Because the probability that your partner will hold on to your love and want to convince you of the opposite is quite high. Realize that if you buckled and gave each other one more chance, it would only hurt you two. Be honest with yourself and with your counterpart. Tell him / her that you still have feelings, but do not see a future for both of you and that you make each other unhappy in the long run. To make it easier and to give you the space to let go of your love, it is often useful to break off contact. However, you both decide for yourself whether this is right for you.

Even if it hurts at the beginning and feels wrong:  A breakup despite love is often the first step in learning to love yourself again. And that feeling is  sure to drown out your  heartache over time.

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